


Begin Again

by letmeinthewallsyouvebuiltaround



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 17:17:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmeinthewallsyouvebuiltaround/pseuds/letmeinthewallsyouvebuiltaround
Summary: Set after 1x19, after the shapeshifter dubbed 'Everyman' kisses Caitlin. Barry goes to check in on her after her weird behaviour at the lab only to discover what happened while he was unconscious.





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my tumblr under [dylanobrienstyler](http://dylanobrienstyler.tumblr.com/post/161450035556/begin-again) (previously holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight). My first foray into the Snowbarry/Flash fandom. Thank you for reading. Feedback is immensely appreciated.

Caitlin looked up from the book she was reading as the knock resonated through her apartment.

Slipping her bookmark in to hold her spot, she placed the book on the coffee table and padded towards the door. She wasn't exactly dressed for visitors – just leggings and a baggy sweater that hung off one shoulder draping over her body. She had come home from work with a need for a long soak and some unwinding, so she hadn't felt like getting into anything too formal after that.

Opening her front door, she found a lanky man shifting his weight between his feet awkwardly, seemingly uncomfortable by his own visit.

His face broke out into a sweet smile at the sight of her.

"Hey. Sorry to drop by unannounced. I was… in the neighbourhood." he fibbed.

She couldn't help but giggle a little, rolling her eyes as she stepped back to let him enter. "I think for you, Barry, your speed means you can always be here quick enough to be considered 'in the neighbourhood'."

He chuckled, flushing a little, and followed her inside. "I was just doing some rounds in the city, making sure no new trouble had brewed up yet."

"We only just caught _Everyman_ a few hours ago. Ever heard of taking a night off from hero duty?" she asked, sitting next to him on her sofa, drawing her legs up underneath her.

Barry perched next to her, shrugging one shoulder.

She could sense his visit wasn't just social. There was something on his mind.

"What's going on, Barry? You seem… something seems to be bugging you."

After her experience earlier in the day, saying he didn't seem like himself seemed sort of tacky.

He bit his lip and smiled a little. "I'm okay. I just… You seemed to be sort of, I don't know, jumpy earlier. I mean, particularly freaked out by me… I just wondered if something happened… you know, with the meta? I know he pretended to be me for a bit. I, um, was just wondering… like, did he… do something?"

Caitlin immediately reddened, her fingers playing with the hair framing her face now. Should she tell him?

Barry was oblivious at times, but not about his friend's discomfort. He shifted in his seat. "What did he do, Caitlin? What did… _I_ do?"

"Well, it wasn't you." she reminded him, forcing a smile.

He sent her a look. "Cait…"

She let out a breath. "Fine. He… came with me to the lab. I stupidly confessed to who I thought was you that I thought I came up with an idea to stop the meta. I explained the science behind it and he came with me to S.T.A.R. labs. I started mixing it up, but even then, you, _he_ , was acting weird. I thought you were just distracted or something. But then… he did something… rather… out of character."

She was blushing now, redder than before, and Barry looked positively terrified.

"What kind of thing?"

"He, um…. Well, he kissed me."

Caitlin was examining the rug beneath the couch intently now, too scared to look at his face as the truth hung in the air, her face actually emitting its own heat source at this point.

"He… I… he…" Barry stammered, clearly not expecting that response whatsoever.

"I mean, he was probably, you know, assuming. Two people around the same age, who are close friends, who work in close quarters, are of the opposite sex… one might assume that something could brew romantically in that sort of environment. He didn't really know anything about you, so, it's not like he knows about your unwavering feelings for Iris, and he doesn't know that you and I are just friends… I think he just probably wanted to distract me, you know? From making the serum…"

She was rambling, something that was pretty atypical for her. But she couldn't help it. She was sort of scared Barry would be mad. She didn't know why—okay, she had an idea why she felt that way—but she knew that it was the fake Barry that made the move on her, not the other way around.

Barry was reaching for her hands, and she felt her embarrassment increase at the way they were quaking before he grasped them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry he… took advantage of you like that. I'm sorry that I let him into my house and allowed him to take my form and get close to you like that. You didn't… that wasn't fair for you. No wonder you were freaked out by me. I…"

Caitlin squeezed his hand, shaking her head. "No, no, Barry, it's fine. It was… it was fine. I just… I didn't know what it meant, and I haven't kissed anyone since Ronnie died, and I just… It caught me off-guard. That's all. I didn't know what to feel."

She closed her eyes, trying to find the courage to say aloud what she had been trying to deny to herself all day.

"What is it, Caitlin?"

She felt her eyes moistening, embarrassment and realization catching up with her.

"I… you should know… I kissed him back."

Barry didn't speak at first, but he didn't let go of her hands either.

Caitlin swallowed. "I mean, I resisted at first. But I thought it was you… and when he went in again, I… gave in. We were interrupted, so it didn't last long, but I kissed him. Kissed, well, _you_."

Barry was quiet, but he rubbed his thumbs over her the back of her hands after a moment.

"That's okay. It was just a reflex, instinct… I'm sure you have some scientific fact that can explain that kind of reaction. Don't worry about it."

She nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Right. Of course."

Barry released her hands and got to his feet, stretching. "I guess I should get going. Let you get back to your night."

Caitlin didn't want to admit it, but she got kind of lonely living alone. It was why she never minded spending extra hours at S.T.A.R. labs or working on Team Flash. She liked being with her friends and liked doing what she did, whether it be assisting in hero work or the actual science work she was hired for. Spending time alone was nice for a recharge here and there, but not for long periods of time. Especially when her thoughts were full; then it was even more daunting.

She couldn't ask him to stay. Especially not after her awkward confession. He was trying to play it cool, be nonchalant and practically heroic about it, but he was clearly freaked out since his first instinct was to head to the door. Frankly, she was surprised he hadn't flashed out of there already.

"Hey, Cait?"

Caitlin turned towards him, getting to her feet now too. She should probably be a good hostess and see him to the door. Her emotional distress could wait until after he left.

He looked different now, nervous even.

He inhaled a deep breath. "Look, since you were so honest with me… you should know… if things were reversed… I would've kissed back too."

Caitlin stared at him, mouth agape, her heart beating harder in her chest.

What was he saying?

She didn't even realize she was moving until she realized that Barry was somehow becoming closer to her.

She chewed her bottom lip, unable to stop her eyes from taking him all in. This man, this crazy-good, kind-hearted, gentle man. Her good friend, the one who always broke the ice or her serious demeanour, the man who helped break her out of her depressive funk. The red-suited hero of Central City.

 _Her_ hero.

"Barry…" she whispered, her hands slowly finding his chest.

He was taller than her by a few inches, not something she was particularly accustomed to.

His eyes were doing a similar scanning of her, the icy blue melting as he traced over her anxious face. His hand lifted to caress her cheek, Caitlin leaning into his touch.

"Maybe we shouldn't…" she began.

Barry gently shushed her, instantly easing her tension, and he tugged her by the waist closer to him. He leaned down, his nose brushing against hers.

"Tell me if you don't want this." he murmured, eyes meeting hers with intensity.

She sharply took in a breath, eyes wet now. "I can't." she told him, knowing she couldn't deny the excitement pressing hard against her ribcage this time.

Barry pulled her against him, his eager mouth finding hers.

Caitlin felt a rush leave her, and it wasn't until later that she realized it was her breath evacuating her lungs. She leaned her weight into Barry, eyes closing and her fingers tightening on his chest, causing his shirt to crumple up in her grip.

His lips moved faster against hers, his hands trying to find purchase on her waist. His body was pressing against the length of hers, and she was enjoying the feel of it all very, very much.

It wasn't enough though. Caitlin was moving his hands down to scoop under her butt before long, impatient and zealous, and he followed her lead, picking her up off the floor. Her legs immediately coiled around his waist, and she began kissing him harder as she grinded her hips up to rub against his pelvis. He couldn't stop the moan from bubbling out of his throat.

He leaned them against the couch, perching her on the back of it, and he took advantage of the lessened need for support and moved his hand to cup behind her head to deepen the kiss.

Caitlin's legs were spread wide to cage him in now, their clothing rustled, and, for the first time since they started their make-out session, they pulled back to breathe and take the other one in.

"I… wow." were the only words Caitlin could manage.

Barry was panting hard now, his chest rising and falling in time with hers.

"Yeah, I'll say."

Caitlin ran a hand through her hair. Her skin was tingling all over. She hadn't felt like this in… well, she wasn't sure. Too long, if not ever.

"I wondered if I forgot how to do that sort of thing. Since… since Ronnie." Caitlin admitted quietly, knowing it was probably in poor taste to bring up her dead fiancé now of all times, but she was feeling particularly honest tonight after everything.

The corner of his lips turned upwards at her confession though. "Trust me, you know what you're doing."

She chuckled appreciatively, trying to fix her hair to a more attractive appearance. She was still spread for him, a little too sexually for her comfort. That is, if things weren't going to progress in that manner at least.

Was she ready for that? She knew her body definitely wanted it. Especially with the man in front of her, if tonight was anything to go by.

She had been fighting her attraction to him for a while, and her feelings for him somehow grew over time. They snuck up on her, only being obvious once earlier happened at the lab.

But what about him? Where was his head at? He had been in love with Iris last time she checked, even if Iris was with Eddie.

Barry cupped her face, drawing her focus back to him. He smiled softly.

"Where did you go?"

She licked her lips. "Just wondering… how we got here. Well, more accurately, how you got here."

He let his hands rub her waist, leaning into her a little as he sighed thoughtfully.

"It sort of feels like it's been building for a while, but when you and I had a night one-on-one a while back… I think that solidified things for me. And my attraction for you was impossible to deny after seeing you in that dress."

She chewed her thumbnail, trying to hide her pleased grin. She had spent a lot of time deciding on an outfit that night—it was nice that it pleased her companion.

"And Iris?" she asked, not sure she was prepared for the answer.

Barry blew out a breath. "I'll always love Iris. I mean, she's a part of my family. But things are different. I'm happy if she's happy and if she's in my life in any capacity. And my feelings for you… they're not like what I've felt for her. It's different. I don't know how to explain it… but I know that I… I want to be with you. If you'll have me. If you want to too."

Caitlin nodded quickly. "I do. Of course I do."

Barry stroked her waist under her shirt. "There's more to it than just our feelings though, Cait. You have to remember who I am… what I do. Villains will use you against me, try to manipulate me by hurting or threatening you. I couldn't handle if anything happened to you, especially because of me."

Caitlin leaned up and pulled him into a long kiss. She held his face as she looked him in the eye. "I know what it means. But there's no way of saying that I'm not in danger playing the role I do now in Team Flash. I know the risks. It's worth it to me. It's worth it for the people we save and the lasting damage we prevent day-to-day. And I want this with you, Barry. I do. I… you mean a lot to me."

Too soon, too much. She couldn't help Ronnie from entering her mind, feeling like she was betraying his memory even being tangled up with another man like this, let alone confessing romantic feelings. But Barry didn't seem bothered. Instead, he began kissing her again.

Caitlin hooked her leg around his waist as she leaned back, reaching an arm out to support herself. Barry understood, following her over the arch of the couch, settling himself on top of her on the cushions.

Their kissing heated up, and Barry didn't hesitate to let his hands roam under her loose sweater. He groaned when he reached her breasts and found them uncovered beneath her sweater. They were full and lush in his palms, her aroused state sending his blood straight to his groin as he rubbed over her firm nipples.

Caitlin gasped against his lips, and he took advantage of her distraction to move his mouth to her neck, kissing and nipping at her bared skin.

She impatiently pushed him back and he hovered over her as she grabbed the hem of her sweater and yanked it over her head, tossing it somewhere towards the middle of the living room.

Barry's eyes flitted over her naked torso, his hips jolting a little in desire at the sight, and once he had enough blood flow to his brain, he realized he should follow her example. Caitlin's soft hands helped him remove his t-shirt, and her palms caressed his abdomen.

They remained in that state for a few moments, just appreciating the other's body, before their desire won the war and their lips fused together again. Caitlin whimpered at the feel of her bare breasts rubbing against his skin.

"Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere, I don't know, more romantic?" Barry teased as their hands eagerly explored the other. His fingers slipped between her legs, rubbing where she needed him, and her back curved at the spark of pleasure he enacted with each rough brush of his thumb.

She giggled breathlessly into his neck, trying to remember how to speak when she was so incredibly turned on, placing kisses there as her hand settled on his waistband. "Here is perfect to me."

The rest of their clothes followed before long, and then Barry slowly pushed himself between her legs.

Caitlin threw her head back against the couch, a whine choking out of her throat. God, it had been way too long. He felt so good inside her.

Barry's hand clasped hers in a tight grip next to them, his thrusts picking up speed, and Caitlin could barely do more than kiss him and move her hips in rhythm with his. She was feeling too many things at once.

Barry, on the other hand, seemed to be completely focused on rendering her utterly wrecked. His free hand skimmed her sensitive spots along her skin, sending tingling to her extremities, and he leaned his forehead against her shoulder as he thrusted deeper. His pants against her skin were causing her body temperature to rise in time with her arousal, and she knew it wouldn't be long before she was flying over the threshold into climax.

Done with teasing her erogenous zones on her body, his hand lifted her thigh as he repositioned his straddled position, and his next thrust caused Caitlin to cry out. It was overwhelming, the spark of pleasure it enacted.

An overly pleased grin crossed his mischievous face, and Barry settled himself above her comfortably as he moved forward again.

"God, I'm not going to last…"

"That's the plan." he teased against her cheek, and his thrusts picked up their pace.

Caitlin was panting hard beneath him, the fire below her belly rolling into a larger flame, and she tightened her legs around him to pull him in deeper.

His hand rubbed over her breast, drawing circles and dragging out whimpers from her, and then he did something she wasn't expecting.

His thrusts picked up their pace once more—but to an inhuman speed.

Caitlin's eyes snapped wide open as her back arched so far she almost bent in half. The noises coming out of her, well, she lost track, as he hit that knot of nerves inside her over and over and over again. With each hit, arousal rippled across her nerve endings, until it was too much. It was building up inside her, so hot, so fast, so incredibly consuming. Her legs tightened so hard on him as she crashed into her high, she was anchoring him to her, but still he moved, faster than light, causing tears to cascade down her cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure emanating from her core. She weakly felt him join her across the threshold moments later, but she was too engulfed in electrifying pleasure to comprehend much.

He eased her down, lips softly brushing the crook of her neck and shoulder, and she lazily found his lips with her own.

She hadn't expected that kind of experience with him. Somehow, in the very few fantasies she had let herself indulge in, she hadn't even factored his superpowers into it. It was always just about her and Barry, his slightly-dorky demeanour and bashful sweetness the forefront of her thoughts of him.

But you wouldn't hear her complaining. She had never felt anything like that in her life.

Barry seemed content to just kiss her tenderly, one arm holding him above her while the other hand traced slow circles on her stomach. Always tender, always gentle. His wholesome heart never ceased.

She knew they had a lot to discuss, but she was too blissed out to form words, let alone hold a serious conversation. Instead, she tugged on his back so he'd lie next to her and she cuddled into his chest.

Eyes closed, she let his steadying heartbeat calm her as his arms drew her in.

She couldn't help but smile. She always felt safe with him, but this was all new. And it felt better than ever.

Barry pressed a kiss to her temple before settling in as if to sleep.

Caitlin breathed in deeply, perfectly happy with that idea. She pulled away slightly to pick up the blanket that had been hanging off the couch earlier over them; it had been knocked on the floor due to their intense lovemaking.

Barry helped her tuck it around them before nuzzling against her, breathing out a content sigh. He sounded as happy as she felt, and it made her heart glow inside.

The road ahead would never be easy—it never was for a hero—but she was looking forward to see what they would conquer in the future. Their hearts may have belonged to someone else for a long time, but she knew now she could make room for another.

She was grateful for the day Barry Allen came into her life. The particle accelerator explosion robbed her of so much—it was about time she found a reason to be grateful for it.

And that reason was currently holding her securely in his arms, with no intention of letting her go.


End file.
